A bid to keep to my 2010 new year's resolutions...

Ok ok…

I apologise for my uncharacteristic rantings the day before and I admit thai its reallt not me to rant around regarding this..

Perhaps im getting too frustrated..perhaps I jus never went through it before and perhaps..im jus sore that God had to have this happen now. (No murtad-dation pleeeease!! Im not against u..) Its like one of the worser times to happen..after all that Najee thing and ireally have got to admit that character wise..Ida is like one of the best around. Religiously competent and enthusiastic as well as fun to be with.. Its jus a matter of ‘Not the right time..’

‘Not the right time?’ I realize that to some..this may be a convenient excuse but to me it applies.

Redha should know how guilty I feel about all this and I really like to thank Azack and my Akak for responding..appreciate the concern. (How’s the baking going on Azack??) I dunno how i can use ur help cos u know i've never really shared this kind of problems with people before.

Right now..its 4am in the morning..

Fazli's sleeping behind me on the floor after helping me install some softwares into my R1..(Its my laptop by the way..) I have to do my mama assignment...20 sentences of questions and answers with translations. I made it a point to do my mama writing on my 'Book of Belit' everyday to familiarise with the writing and reading..(What's with me and giving things name?? 'Book of Def' la..'Ari' lah..'R1' la..hahaha..)

Its like when u were first introduced to the Jawi or the Arabic language..remember how u were taught? “Aliff, Baa, Taa, Saa, Jim, Haa, Ho, and blah blah blah...” Im doing it that way..with the addition of the concept of Iqra'..hmm..cultural blends ha? The similar thing with tamil and arabic is the tajwid. The different positioning of the tongue gives somewhat a different sound to a similar word..take for example the word 'TA'. There are like 3 positions for the tongue to produce 'TA' and will give different meaning to a word. The position of the word 'TA' within a word also gives different sound.. It can sound like 'THA' or 'DA' u know??!

Hahaha..but so far Tamil time is the lesson i enjoy most! Imagine from Tamil lecture when Dr Thinnappan talks english with a Mama-lised accent transiting almost immediately to Prof Shaharudin speaking english with a Malaysian accent..headache sia!! But i sort of got used to it.. im dead! By the time the 1st sem is over...i'll be a confused Singaporean with Malay, English, Chinese and Tamil in my blood!!

And guess what? I'm taking my only guy cousin from my dad's side, Alfian, 1yr old with me. Im gonna tok tamil to him all the time..(He's getting the hang of it..calls me bhaiyya oredi!!) He's gonna be a confused baby..his mum talks indon..father n family talks malay, i talk tamil to him and soon..he'll be introduced to english..hahaha...ethnitical dilemma huh?

And silat for yesterday..hmm..we learnt how to 'elak' or 'siam' or 'avoid a hit'.. Kinda tiring man..silat so far has been training me to use muscles i never really used.. Waah kao! Hahaha..and for the 1st time..we joined them to eat out at Hazwani's (at clementi..beside the longkang..)..not really a lot went but oklar..me and Md Noor and Faisal went..(representatives from the freshies..hehehe..) Okla..wanted prata..no prata.. wanted sup kambing..also dun have..in the end got to settle for western..haiya.. Talk n talk about things we cant discuss here..its a policy it seems that what was talked on the table MUST only be talked there and then..wanna continue..wait for the following week at that place den can continue... Apa apa lah...

Found a fellow ex-blockmate too..waaah..hahaha..stays 10 floors beneath me. What a coincidence man..hahaha..If im not wrong..its Juzailah..but if im not wrong lar.. macam fun gitu arh..that block has a lot of fond memories man..religious classes on Friday nights..quraan reading by Cik Yam..that PAP..the playground..the big longkang..the neighbours..(the fun and the irritating ones!!) kedai kecik, kedai mama..(apparently its still the same mama!! Wonder if he recognises us...) But there has been a lot of changes la..lift service to every floor..play corners..new paints..hahaha...

Which reminds me..i delivered pizza to a house (I mean HOUSE) at Zehnder Rd ff South Buona Vista Rd..aka 'The GAP'. The house..9C..was my gosh..enough to make my mouth open in astonishment..i parked behind a LEXUS..blah blah blah 61U..den when i look into the big gates..there were 2 other cars..one LEXUS sports car and one Mercedes..both made my eyes gleam..both ends with 61..maann!! I will end my plate numbers with 520J..for reference with VZOJ..such a wonder man... made me remember Tang Wen En's house at Nassim Rd too..rich fellows..AAAH..

Oklah..got to carry on with my assignments..brupt ending ay? Haha..hey Kecik..amacam? Are we abang-abangs hardworking a not??

Lastly, the bottomline is..I still maintain my policy of “My life suck but i love it..”

May Allah guide us all..bless us with happiness and health n protect us from the dangers of this world, physically or mentally. Help us become successful people in the world and after...

We're on this topic of promise again..on my notion that a word suffices as a promise.
There is one word i can never say out to a friend cause i will never mean it. It causes confusion and in turn..leads one on the wrong path.

A 'Promise' and 'Commitment' to its fulfilment are a process in togetherness that is also termed as 'Responsibilities'.

We'll start from the back (people always tell us to start with the end in mind ryt?) with Responsibilities. Questioned myself..this was my thought process that tym..

1.Can i take the responsibilities?
2.Do i need this now?
3.What are other considerations that i have in mind?
4.Have i really forgotten?
5.What will be the consequences if...?

This were my answers. If u disagree with me u can comment on it..im really open for comments.

1.Have i really fulfilled my responsibilities towards my OWN family? Myself? And can i fulfil this promise if i make it?
2.Do i really need this now? No i guess cause what for since im still only in my 1st year of University. I havn't even gone thru any examinations or tested how well i can do. I have just this focus now..bursaries and scholarship as well as value creation.
3.What are the other considerations in mind? Do i really need to settle down now on one choice. I noe i may sound like a jerk but considering i have like at least 5 years before marriageable age..its too long a time. And how long have i known her? 1 month..what are the odds?
4.This is one burning question..Have i really forgotten? I guess no..
5.What will be the consequences if anything negative was to happen? I dun want to go thru all the emotional distress again however confident i feel to be able to handle it now since i went thru it before and other factors as maturity and wisdom. (I noe u wun agree Kecik!)
The consequences are tough to bear and will it affect my goals and focus? I guess inevitably it will.

Now since i've gone through this thought process and hardened my stand towards this issue..i guess yah..i dun want this right now. I figured out this will be left best when i can assure myself i can still focus on my goals, fulfil my own requirements and commit fully...then only will i make that promise.

I guess she is asking too much of me right now. I would only want a friend..i need friends as Redha, Lina, Azack and the others. (Lawakians are considered KAKAKs and those who i didnt mention but are pretty close to me..sorry i didnt say ur name.) They are very close to me and yet i can be close and not mix emotions into it..It is VERY POSSIBLE if ur intentions are clear and yet..she can't accept my suggestion that we got this way.

Its an issue of two stubborn-heads..two selfish buggers logging it out and at one side..we have it considered under a context of Love? How can it b when right now, we cant even settle on this issue. If its Love..this issue will be resolved fast.. Simple..love entails sacrifice and this ability to sacrifice for the one you love gives you the credibility to say the word 'I Love u'..

Its not right isn't it to claim that you love a person if u won't sacrifice? Why do parents and grandparents as well as siblings..love you? Cause no matter what, they have sacrificed for u (In general..) time, goals, money, beauty and also life to bring u up and make sure u grow up good.

Life sucks doesnt it? But i still love it..

This issue now is somewhat settled for my side. I know now that some people don't work the way others do. I need to curb myself from my own nature to prevent this from happening again. I know that in this process..people get hurt and i really feel it when people get hurt because of hurt. I hate the feeling..it hurts even more than myself getting hurt.

So i guess..what i have to do now is stand firm and resilient and focus on my own goals. There is more i got to learn..i have yet to really respect myself enough to allow myself to commit to this.

I dunno..Naj..did u go thru this? Azack, Red n Lina and Fyque..any comment? I guess this was one thing that i hid from u guys long enuf till it is all hard to bear alone...This sux.. Thats why sometimes i just love my introverted self that kicks in.. I can jus lay back and no have a care of whims and all.. To mark this eventful day. I AM GOING TO CUT MY HAIR..u can rejoice all u want ppl..4 month of long hair made me gonggong..

And kecik..i noe this is also too short for ur 4 hr break..

OK..i need to get ready to go to work. N ya..i'll intro u guys to my fren kecik sometime..n vice versa..Fyque, she plays ur role in sch for me..but pulling me down ALL the tym and she rolls her eyes too! Hahahaha...i wanted to intro her to u but she dun wan..she wears black too..haha..

And lastly..to those that i've hurt before..just note that i feel hurt too when i hurt someone.

May Allah guide us all..bless us with happiness and health n protect us from the dangers of this world, physically or mentally. Help us become successful people in the world and after...

This SUCKS man...

I've been feeling like this since yesterday afternoon.. NAUSEOUS.. UNEASINESS.. and WEAK..

Symtoms of indigestion or diorrhea perhaps. Its been liquid so far..(water more likely so!) And im feeling dehydrated and weak. Its like JCC on the third day but JCC wasnt so dehydrating. I had a river at the back of my hut!!

Hmm..Ended work at midnight yesterday and went to Ali's place to collect his stuff. The pizza smell was nauseating and i jus felt like vomiting but it just cant come out...hmm.. if only i had asam-asin now..oooooo.... Oh ya..after that, we went to nenek's house. Ali's 1st ever sleepover there and how good does it feel when u can come out just 10mins before lesson begins instead of an hour??! Wooo..that's one advantage of staying at nek's place.

Hmm..ut nek cooked a lot this morning for breakfast..jemput-jemput pisang and pisang goreng..Wowwee..but i just dun have the appetite lar..sux..

Now im waiting for my tamil tutorial to begin..HEEHEE..

Econs wa torturous for me since i had to battle with my weakness..SHUCKS..it was worse than the Zee Monster..I dunno why..i eyes were dead but my ears and mind listened on..it made it even worse..SUPER DUPER TIRING..

And donkey is getting worse again..should i overhaul or get a new bike? All in the budget constraint..

Check out my this month's budget outlook:

TOTAL BUDGET for ALL EXPENDITURE = SGD$ 220

1. Food and Drinks = SGD$ 40
2. Insurance and Savings = SGD$ 100
3. Travel = SGD$ 50
4. Bills = SGD$ 30

Unrealistic?? I doubt so.. This was for last month..

1. Food and Drinks = SGD$ 30
2. Insurance and Savings = SGD$ 100
3. Travel = SGD$ 50
4. Bills = SGD$ 50

So i guess its still achievable. The bill over-budget was due to smses..so im really going to cut down on that. Also phone calls.. Travel..hmm..i believe it can be further reduced.. Food and drinks..survivable..

Ok lar..im done..

And i really dun like the word HATE..renungkanlah..


May Allah guide us all..bless us with happiness and health n protect us from the dangers of this world, physically or mentally. Help us become successful people in the world and after...

Just done with Silat training no.2...today was shaggadelically-exhaustive! Maaaannn..hmm..the coach..Kak Pe'ah thot tat we shld start n master the basics of silat first like kicking..(We started off with jusrus wajib which is a set of artistic moves).. Which i feel yaah..we shld master the basic fundamentals first. Kind of kekok(not used to it..) with the balance and all especially!

Hmm..and so we did basic kicking. Two types of kick today called Tojang (Correct spelling? Or for the non-literates its a.k.a front kick) and Sabit (a.k.a volley). Hmmmm..first prob..ke-kekokan..(simply..not used to it.) Hahaha..felt so rigid! Especially when we had to kick air. And worse..when we kick with our left legs..arrgh! Hahaha..so stiff man!

But after getting used to kicking air..we proceeded on with kicking pads..hmm..now then we know how hard we can kick as well as feel the impact..It felt like stress relief programme man..especially when Kak Pe'ah told us to "Let it go!" which is a green light for "WHAAACCK!!" But she had so much strength man..(Kak Pe'ah)..it seems like she was not putting much effort but when her limb hits the pad.."POOOMPH!" The impact was great..Crisp in fact..

The whole session was practically whack the pads..and mastering the fundemental of these two kicks..atuning ur muscles to the moves..unstiffen the untrained body.. HAIZ..so much description. But hell yeah..it was exhausting ryt till the last drop of sweat..it was worse than sprinting non stop..(U noe the fartlek thingy?) Yaahh..it was that exhaustive! But if every training is like this..it will be great exercise man!

OK ok..and yah..i think i effed up my NPCC interview..Hehehe..i think i was too bloody honest instead of being politically correct. One f the interviewers looked pissed aniwae..mmmm.. and im the treasurer for one of the PBM projects..Shheesh..luckily i had training in sarawak! (Remember the accountings Fyque?)

And so..counting down..i have 5 CCAs so far..

1. Silat
2. Canoe Polo
3. PBMUKS
4. NUSMS
5. NUS NPCC (TBC cos i dunno how i fare for the interview thingy..HEHE..)

PLUS..im working part-tym.

ANYONE OUT THERE THINK IM CRAZY???

Guess im for it..Hope He really guides me..

May Allah guide us all..bless us with happiness and health n protect us from the dangers of this world, physically or mentally. Help us become successful people in the world and after...

its nearly the end of school week.. BUT actually it has ended for me!! Fridays are my off days and so i work on fridays. Need the money to sort of crawl into my account to supply my printing of notes..buying of school materials and also..so i can save up ya noe..even tho its just enuf for me to sort of live by. These days..i live on a $10 a wk budget for food and drinks and a unlimited travel budget..(actually uncountable larr!) Hahaha..its enuf..more than enuf actually! I plan to save up at least $150 a mth..

This week..started silat trainning.. Hmm..discovered my inadequancies in balance!! OOhh man..it was tuf to balance, kick ard and yet control that limb of mine that has a heel and sole! Hah..but we managed to pull thru. I was sweating thruout the training..two reasons.. Numero Uno..aircon not on (Ryyyyt..) Numero Dos..We were holding yoga like postions..(Pheeeww..) But it was a good sweat!

Had PBM mtg also yesterday..met up to decide who will undertake which projects and who will do wad and so on.. Being like the only guy..(Why m i always in this situation??) They asked..why not i be Project Director for one of the projects..the biggest actually..coming up in December? I was like huh?? But naah..i cant..they seem puzzled.. But kidz..I think its because i dun wanna really commit too much time..i got NPCC course i guess in early December too..got training commitments to Silat and Canoe Polo and i guess..(Shiiiit...tink im gonna die!) i need time to breathe. And ya..Family and Work too..

But school has been great so far..assited by my Red Donkey..its been seamless..
I actually learnt a great deal, especially in Philosophy Lectures. From Socrates to Dale Carnagie (Luckily i read his book before!!) These two distinguished people (literally) sort of have the same passion for argument yet in varying styles. I will talk abt it individually once i get the grasp of it lar. Hadn't started much on Tamil and Singapore Society has been dry.

I've got my debit card at last..with VZOJ inscripted on it..even tho that guy from DBS insisted i must have my INITIALS on it..VZOJ IS my initials boy!! So..i had to put VZOJ FAIZAL. Haiz..kidz nowadays.. Hmm..

Ok lar..got to prep for work oredi..hope i wun rain too heavily today!

AUUWAH..riders of the storm!

Hope u've been enjoying school Najee...




May Allah guide us all..bless us with happiness and health n protect us from the dangers of this world, physically or mentally. Help us become successful people in the world and after...

OK..

School startd liao..its been quite busy for me at first, juggling work, school(especially the bidding part as well as attending the welcome teas!!) and time with my family.

I am in the faculty of arts an Socail sciences(FASS)..after the tedious bidding process (especially for sumone who ponteng all the help sessions on orientation week!)..i managed to get Econs, Philosophy, Malay Studies, Singapore Society and Tamil Language. Actually i had planned to take Social Work but got outbidded. Planned to clear my Faculty requirement of 4 exposure modules dis sem but since it turned out this way..i figured..OK..i'll clear my Singpore Studies module first. To do one is a requirement too and i wun have to bother thinking abt it forever..(if i pass!!)

And the big question for many..WHY THE HECK TAMIL??!

2 main resons..NUMERO UNO..i noe extensive Malay and English. I noe a bit of basic conversational Mandarin..so i figured out..c'mon..lets learn one more of our countrymen's lingo..Tamil! Tat was the main reason. NOMBOR DUA..A few koteks said that lingo module is tuff..pretty much all the people dey knew.."RANAP"..did super badly..affecting their CAP score.. But me being me..stubborn and 'Strong Willed'..decided to go against flow..swim upstream and take the road less travelld..I confirmed my decision and said..WHY NOT!! So i toughened my stand n yep..now im in Tamil Class..

But i was late for my first Tamil Lecture jus now..
Went to collect my Laptop at last and it took nearly 2hrs plus jus go go off with my mobile computer! I was late for lecture by an hour.. But due to my overwhelming enthusiasm..(BAru baru jer..)..Perhaps it might be the case of Hot-hot chicken shit..(Hangat-hangat tahi ayam) but then..nurture the fire while it lasts and keep it going.. RYT?? Yah yah..back to my story..i went into class..it was a very small class and everyone looked at me (and Yes..the Professor too!!) It was MALU-ating..HAHAHA..n me in my shocked meek voice, tried to explain to the Prof..apparently he didnt hear anything..so i spoke clearly.."Can i join in Prof? Sorry for being late.." He kindly smiled and said.."Sure sure!" Ahaaa...my first tamil lecture..i came in in perspiration, lugging my laptop.

Malay studies lecture came next...and yah..i met PAOPAO on the way to lt10..hehehe...missed her..My chipmunk! And i smsed ruzanna..she told me "HUH?? Its Lt12 larr!!" So i had to proceed to Lt12 where on the way i met Faiza and Ilyani from BPGHS NPCC..my CI course batch mates dulu..dey didnt change abit! In MS..i was like the only guy amongst the gals..WHY m i always in this situation?? But we had to move orward so after that..i wa the ONLY person in the first row..ryt in front of the lecturer.. HAHAHA..

Hmm..d day was quite alright..

Missed a few ppl..my family (mum especially) and a few frens i hadnt met and toked to in a long time.. where art thou Naj??

K k..fiddling on my laptop now..wat should i name it huh??


May Allah guide us all..bless us with happiness and health n protect us from the dangers of this world, physically or mentally. Help us become successful people in the world and after...

Heylo!

Long time no blog yah..
Hmm..wad happend so far? I started school..in NUS FASS..
Got into an accident at 100kmh! Hehehe..Hell Rider maah..
And i got a laptop..me on my laptop now..a cheap one lah..IBM R52..big (15inch screen)..sluggish titanium body with g-shock qualities..heavy..(weighs like an M-16) and i liiiikkee!!

Hahaha...and i'll carry on tonite ok!

Got something i have to do..

Poi tevaran..if tats how u spell it!

May Allah guide us all..bless us with happiness and health n protect us from the dangers of this world, physically or mentally. Help us become successful people in the world and after...