Kurosaki FaiZola vs. 'Hollow' inside..
If i put as much perseverence, passion, effort, desire and enjoyment into all that i commit to do... i will be the boy i was, the person i want to be..
I really miss myself...
The zola who had no sense of defeat in him. One with aggression so much that he veers not from fights and setbacks. One so reckless that he heads on to challenges instinctively without much thots at times... Stepping on people's toes whilst keeping my eyes dead on the objectives at sight..
Sometimes...i miss that self of mine. Beng told me i mellowed down a lot after i went into JC. But what mellowed me down alot, after much thot was actually.. Geraldine. The 'violent' breakup gave me much to ponder and reflect about myself. It actually made me very philosophical i think...
Well... sometimes i hate this soft self of mine. One that thinks of consequences... one that feels for others and fears hurting others... one who lets guilt burden me down and memories anchor me aground...
My only solace is the ceramah i heard while driving at 6am... abt one main characteristic of ppl going to syurga is those who possesses a gentle heart...
Haiz... this is what stroking the black makes u do...
Every chord, every voicing, every note, sets u reminiscing...
Each note is unique when placed in different settings... And A will sound different when it plays key compared to an A when it plays support to the key of G... it sets different moods... and as i stroke before i go to sleep... thoughts come as random as the notes struck...
There are pros and cons of what i am now... but it is not the optimum level condition yet... isn't that what many people try to achieve and some die without even feeling satisfied?
Aniways...
Silat Welcome Tea was yesterday... was quite fun. The camwhoring, the kicking of padding..lying down and bersembanging on the matt.. changing together, solating together.. sharing jokes and stories.. pantuning.. playing dumb games and singing... I miss the silat family feeling all these times being in holiday mood.. getting fed and fat. I have a new nama timangan given by Abang Azmi... TEMBAM?!!
I noe i am....shhh!
Well..its time to shred...
I think cycling doesnt really help much though i tink i have lost a teeny bit of weight by raising my metabolism slightly from what it is during the hols... Hahaha!
OK!! Gd luck mama for your kickboxing!! Get fit and flexible so u can kick my butt better k?? Nad..can kick Booby...oppps...Bobby i mean!
Plus...reminder for zola.. find out abt bus tickets back home!
May Allah guide us all..bless us with happiness and health n protect us from the dangers of this world, physically or mentally. Help us become successful people in the world and after...
we learn in sociology that past events and experiences shape our present perceptions of society and of ourselves.
i don't see your soft side as a weakness. i think it's a matter of knowing when to hold your ground, be aggressive and disciplined, or when to be soft, sensitive and giving in the right situations.
but with me, be soft ok? i like your soft side. (:[not the soft-lembut-bapok kind, but soft-SNAG-gentle macho man kind. hurhurhurr. *grins*
the only exception is when you want to study. :p
Rabak!! my name is not in your list!!