ME??
Hmmm...why isit that people always think ur up to something when u do something?
Wait..what's the motto for this year? "No Fear"..We step onto this earth, created and owned solely by the Exalted One. All creatures..are of his creation and discretion. Why fear things u are equal to? Since u originate from the same creator..
Well..that doesnt sound really nice but thats the gist of THIS year's motto.
Secondly..yeap..it dawned upon me again about last year's motto..which was self-development. Have i achieved the level that i am aiming for? Last year was a year of many downs and little ups the way i see it. But the last few months..i manage to turn the ship full steer around..altho it has not yet completed the turn. I felt that..yes..as i have said in the blogs..maybe 10-20 blogs ago..that im starting to become someone i do not want to. I tink i am...somehow i feel i behave best alone. I like the quiet me..somehow, i dun really feel happy being chirpy. Sometimes words come out from my mouth in which i would reflect later..thinking i would be better of not saying it in the first place. I tink..the inert me is a silent person..uneasy in holding out conversations..fiercely committed to anything worthy of my focus.
I feel it coming back again..i think its a resurgence.
And well...i feel that somewhat..when i was deleting away old messages..that one msg from a dear frean said i like to make use of mind play to get answers out. Hahaha...trust me..i dun use it la!! Maybe a few times..but i dun use it for fun..maybe for naughty purposes la..but then..i dun use it to PLAY with minds..just to get certain things out. Things i wanna noe..hehehe.."coutesy of idamurni who is happily involved now"
And then there are the people who said i was a crazie idiot who plays NEVER on safe sides. I think there were times in sec sch were my buddies would always wish i would take safe approaches when we were preparing for some competitions. But hey...i dun conform.. sometimes!! I jus wanna noe my 'playing area' and what i can do within..den i prefer not to think about impossibilities but what should be done to win. Den we train for it...trainig is undoubtedly tougher but Do-able maaah...but den which competitions have i lost that i actively planned in?? Ryt Beng?
Hahaha...what else? Im geeky? They said i used to speak in Malay that is saya dan kamu? I dunno where u heard this from but i tink its nonsense!! I've always been aku kau since primary sch...altho my house advocates nice language la..hahaha!
Haiz...but am i too overly focused on my goals? Isit bad? That my frens get affected..that i had to sacrifice and hurt? I've always felt i work best alone but then i cant work alone all the time. I really need to work on interpersonal relationships. I realise this is army..that leadership is NOT my forte. Im best in planning but leading. But im not gonna rest on my hinds cause i need this skills to get to where i wanna be..i first need to be decisive and stern. Training up that sector on my primary 4 kids. If i can work it on them..i tink i am successful. Those lil devil bois are a handful! Hahahha..but fun!
I need to sleep...
And a tip..
"Try not to read into people's intentions. Dun be too overly suspicious. I treasure sincerity and honesty. I respect are of pure heart.."
Wait..what's the motto for this year? "No Fear"..We step onto this earth, created and owned solely by the Exalted One. All creatures..are of his creation and discretion. Why fear things u are equal to? Since u originate from the same creator..
Well..that doesnt sound really nice but thats the gist of THIS year's motto.
Secondly..yeap..it dawned upon me again about last year's motto..which was self-development. Have i achieved the level that i am aiming for? Last year was a year of many downs and little ups the way i see it. But the last few months..i manage to turn the ship full steer around..altho it has not yet completed the turn. I felt that..yes..as i have said in the blogs..maybe 10-20 blogs ago..that im starting to become someone i do not want to. I tink i am...somehow i feel i behave best alone. I like the quiet me..somehow, i dun really feel happy being chirpy. Sometimes words come out from my mouth in which i would reflect later..thinking i would be better of not saying it in the first place. I tink..the inert me is a silent person..uneasy in holding out conversations..fiercely committed to anything worthy of my focus.
I feel it coming back again..i think its a resurgence.
And well...i feel that somewhat..when i was deleting away old messages..that one msg from a dear frean said i like to make use of mind play to get answers out. Hahaha...trust me..i dun use it la!! Maybe a few times..but i dun use it for fun..maybe for naughty purposes la..but then..i dun use it to PLAY with minds..just to get certain things out. Things i wanna noe..hehehe.."coutesy of idamurni who is happily involved now"
And then there are the people who said i was a crazie idiot who plays NEVER on safe sides. I think there were times in sec sch were my buddies would always wish i would take safe approaches when we were preparing for some competitions. But hey...i dun conform.. sometimes!! I jus wanna noe my 'playing area' and what i can do within..den i prefer not to think about impossibilities but what should be done to win. Den we train for it...trainig is undoubtedly tougher but Do-able maaah...but den which competitions have i lost that i actively planned in?? Ryt Beng?
Hahaha...what else? Im geeky? They said i used to speak in Malay that is saya dan kamu? I dunno where u heard this from but i tink its nonsense!! I've always been aku kau since primary sch...altho my house advocates nice language la..hahaha!
Haiz...but am i too overly focused on my goals? Isit bad? That my frens get affected..that i had to sacrifice and hurt? I've always felt i work best alone but then i cant work alone all the time. I really need to work on interpersonal relationships. I realise this is army..that leadership is NOT my forte. Im best in planning but leading. But im not gonna rest on my hinds cause i need this skills to get to where i wanna be..i first need to be decisive and stern. Training up that sector on my primary 4 kids. If i can work it on them..i tink i am successful. Those lil devil bois are a handful! Hahahha..but fun!
I need to sleep...
And a tip..
"Try not to read into people's intentions. Dun be too overly suspicious. I treasure sincerity and honesty. I respect are of pure heart.."
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