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Well...
I was actually in a PISSED-OFF mood but after riding i'm ok..must be the carbon monoxide in the air..
WHY was i pissed? Haiz...i'll just give u the gist of it..
WHY must he keep picking on my mistakes? THIS never do properly, THAT i did wrongly..WHY cant i do this..WHY is this like that.. Man..this just reminds me of that song "perfect" is it..the one that goes..
"Hey dad look at me..
Na na nana nana..
I'm sorry i can't be..PERFECT.."
And the steely part is..i tink i'm gonna grow up to be like HIM as much as i try to steer away from the bad parts. Haiz.. sometimes u try so hard not to be like ur parents that u become like them huh? To those parents out there..seem familiar?
I jus want him to appreciate all that i do good..isn't there anything that i did that he can be proud of and openly show it to me?? If there isn't then tell me cos i need to know!! Im frustrated out here dad!! I rush to nenek's house everyday to water the plants in between schedule and u chide me for not taking the clothes out of the washing machine. (I will do it tomoro..if i waited..i WILL be late for stuffs!!) I DIYed by Donkey so proudly and he chided the sharp edges that i have not yet sawn off. I sweep the floor every 2-3 days when nenek was away but u had to pick on the days that i didnt sweep..flowers DROP EVERYDAY u noe!
I guess the only love that i am deprived of is the one from my dad. Dun get me wrong.. My dad is not the type of person who abandons his family or is irresponsible. He's a good dad..he does housework and he's studious and religious and all..but like most typical malay dad..he lacks the show of love. He was very strict to us when we were young and i appreciate it but i guess..im just deprived of his affection maybe..HAHAHA..but i dun noe how i wld perform as a dad..
Well..after riding back..i feel alright. Better..not as pissed but i feel exhausted today..dunno why. Head heavy with thoughts that burden even my light-hearted soul.
I guess i need a break..
I was actually in a PISSED-OFF mood but after riding i'm ok..must be the carbon monoxide in the air..
WHY was i pissed? Haiz...i'll just give u the gist of it..
WHY must he keep picking on my mistakes? THIS never do properly, THAT i did wrongly..WHY cant i do this..WHY is this like that.. Man..this just reminds me of that song "perfect" is it..the one that goes..
"Hey dad look at me..
Na na nana nana..
I'm sorry i can't be..PERFECT.."
And the steely part is..i tink i'm gonna grow up to be like HIM as much as i try to steer away from the bad parts. Haiz.. sometimes u try so hard not to be like ur parents that u become like them huh? To those parents out there..seem familiar?
I jus want him to appreciate all that i do good..isn't there anything that i did that he can be proud of and openly show it to me?? If there isn't then tell me cos i need to know!! Im frustrated out here dad!! I rush to nenek's house everyday to water the plants in between schedule and u chide me for not taking the clothes out of the washing machine. (I will do it tomoro..if i waited..i WILL be late for stuffs!!) I DIYed by Donkey so proudly and he chided the sharp edges that i have not yet sawn off. I sweep the floor every 2-3 days when nenek was away but u had to pick on the days that i didnt sweep..flowers DROP EVERYDAY u noe!
I guess the only love that i am deprived of is the one from my dad. Dun get me wrong.. My dad is not the type of person who abandons his family or is irresponsible. He's a good dad..he does housework and he's studious and religious and all..but like most typical malay dad..he lacks the show of love. He was very strict to us when we were young and i appreciate it but i guess..im just deprived of his affection maybe..HAHAHA..but i dun noe how i wld perform as a dad..
Well..after riding back..i feel alright. Better..not as pissed but i feel exhausted today..dunno why. Head heavy with thoughts that burden even my light-hearted soul.
I guess i need a break..
heys.. jgn marah2 doks. well ur entitled to the feelings too. hmm
i know how it feels like u cant measue up no matter what you do. sume tak kena. ini tak kena. kinda "boosts" ur esteem huh. then it gets u thinking abt ur worth and everything. just gets to a pt when ur not being appreciated when all u want is some assurance.
i get that from my dad. sometimes i purposely rebel just to go agst him. but parents are parents. and ultimately they want the best for you.. sometime too much from u instead.
but i find no use trying to argue it out. cant be calculative somtimes. as long u have ur conscience, such happenings will just graze the skin and ur pride. ehhe.
the world is round. eheh. and u have ur donkey. eheh.
Hey..
Thanks der! But siapakah di gerangan tuan hamba?
But thank u..it was my way of venting the frust out especially the day before my exams start.
Today is my first day of exams...
thot i was d only 1 who feels like tt.... like everthg i do is wrong, and i nvr seem to do anythg tt is rite to him.. guez he is juz like tt.