A bid to keep to my 2010 new year's resolutions...

Gonna have to 'gear down'...accelerate to the fast lane now. July is gonna be hectic!

Here's why...i got two more licenses on the list to achieve. I got FOC camp...mock and actual. I got KKO....i got silat camp and IVPs. My tuitions are starting again....aaaaaarghh!!

Hahaha......well...dun worry. Can handle lah insyaallah.

Fear. I hope i can help you overcome it. This fear of yours...insyaallah, i can be with you through it all. This fear that cripples you....i will stand by you and support you till i have none left in me.

You help instill cheer and laughter into people and sometimes you lose your own. Sometimes...i feel that by doing all these...people lose their believe in me instead. They don't view me with seriousness...i would be taken lightly. The irony of humour....its a sacrifice you inevitably make playing a role in a group or a society. Its a heavy sacrifice that friends often overlook as they are each chasing their own pursuits....each having their own interest at mind. It is like the roots of a plant....the carpet of a car...the walls of a home...usually overlooked. (OKla! bad comparisons...)

I am feeling the excitement all over again. I feel a resurgence of morale...i feel an uprising. Thank you. U too....

May Allah guide us all..bless us with happiness and health n protect us from the dangers of this world, physically or mentally. Help us become successful people in the world and after...

Now i can strike the 2nd from bottom thing on my list...alhamdulillah. 2 more to go for this holidays. My holiday just got more exciting! This victory..i dedicate to my ever supportive family..and to those k2p ppl who gave me endless tips..to the other friends who have offered advice and also to one friend that dared to let me drive her a few times on the road before i even was allowed to...

Ain was supposed to wrap the key up in a box and tie it up with a ribbon before she passed it to me...but i guess...a foresight or a slip of her mind caused he not to do so. Haiz...as unceremoniously as i got it..i guess, i didnt mind at all...not at all! Cause now....it is mine..MINE!!

Gejah came back from Perak Monday night...she bought me a shoe bag and buah asam...awwwww...i have such a shweeeet little sis. Thank you Aisyah!

I have a fear in me now...no not about that one..."the other one!" Yes...the other one...the fear that creeps in......the memory of 99'. That wasn't a good fear. That fear exposed me to a lot about myself that emerged and i never realised it coming. Weaknesses that i never knew i posess and never felt in my life reared its evil heads then...i lost.. It took me years to be able to piece myself into a person..(not yet..but close).. not like back then. But as all trials...adjustments are needed. I guess...i was overly adjusted to the other side of the spectrum. I was overly detached.. Which once..i thought was ok as i had all other goals in mind as it was working well. But hurt that i caused to others and myself shelled me into a mental hiatus..i had to take a stand. Hopefully this shall be the last time i ever treated someone with detachment.

That was the problem in Gandhi that i forsee in me... Haizu once warned me of my character. That once i get into a focused mindset, i shut out all others including my loved ones from my head. That was good for work but not socially... Gandhi had this weakness. He treated others so well as a Mahatma and as a servant to all mankind but he was tough on his own flesh and blood. His expectations for them caused cracks in the relationship. He set an expectation so high that somehow...as far as i know...2 of his sons somewhat rebelled against him. One incriminated him and publicly went against him in rebellion.

As far as i respect Gandhi for his ability to move masses of people in a direction and a goal as well as his unflinching principles and good character. This was one side of him i will learn from. I used to have high expectations of those close to me..and the expectation can get so high that if he/she did it wrong somehow..i get pissed or irritated. While towards other people who did the same mistakes...i will be so patient and calm. I have not been fair. This day...i apologize to all that was affected by my weakness.

To those that are somewhat disturbed as to why i read Gandhi instead of Muhammad or Summaiyah or Dalai Lama or Jesus... not yet. I dun colour people by race, skin colour, religion or whatever.. I seek to learn good character from all sources. Muhammad is too high for me..not yet. Gandhi is a normal man...who had many tribulations and weaknesses in his life that by sheer unwavering prrinciples as well as self-realisation...overcame it. Gandhi was not a saint, not a caliphate....he was merely human. Hence, its easy to relate to him and his struggles as one can read from his biography.

To a friend...since you set your mind already. Live without regrets. That was one of the mottos i held in life..Once you've made a decision, do not wriggle over it. If you are really convinvced about that decision...take it..move on. Dun let it take up those memory space in your jello-drive. It will slow down and will cause you to crash...sometimes... so..dun cry. You are in control of youself..until its time to let go and share it. So control it now...

We started off with the tragedy of 99'....it shall end off here. Some things are better left buried. There is no need to connect these two situations...the now and the past. As similar as they can be....they are separate. So its time for a new beginning.

To a group of friends. You are very close to me...so far, the closest affiliations amongst many. I made a decision that inevitably caused some of you to take sides due to your stand in the situation. I respect your decisions...you are free to make any stand..i am glad your stand wasn't tainted and biased towards friendship but stood firm to your belief. *smile* But your new friend needs not coals of amber to feed her but water too soothe her and forge her into a beautiful sword. She needs no constant consolations. You have done no justice to your new friend consoling her all the time. I dun tink she nededs it...the more you console her..it seems, the weaker she gets...she is strong enough, that i know...cause as bad as u and i tink i am now, i am still the person you knew back then. I just had to make a difficult stand...and i did...for any clarifications on this matter. Do not assume...come straight to me. I never shyed away from anyblunt straight-to-face talk havnt i?

"If you treat a person as the are, you are weakening him. Treat him as he ought to be...strong, unwavering and he'll become a better person."

My reply,
*I am a friend and you have never lost me...i'll be back once you are ready to accept me just as this..

I hope my mental hiatus can be lifted soon..."u too..."

May Allah guide us all..bless us with happiness and health n protect us from the dangers of this world, physically or mentally. Help us become successful people in the world and after...

How to educate a little kid not to pee on the bed at night?

Thats what me and fazli set out to teach shafiq last night. It worked! So for those people out there who have little kids they know of having this problem. This is one way (Though not a sure-fire method) that might just work for you.

Step 1: Recognise why they do it. Diagnose.

Step 2: Encourage and educate them.
Find out why they do it. Are they concious that they do it? Is it done while they are asleep or are they just afraid to wake up and do it? If they are concious about the problem, then find out why they still do it. Is it because they are afraid to wake up and go to the toilet or are they simply plain lazy?

Step 3: Make them practise what you taught them.
After u had diagnosed their problem. Teach them ways to overcome it. If theirs is fear...then teach them to overcome fear. I think many parents instead of teaching their children courange, instil fear i them as a form of control. Personally, i feel it is not right. Especially for muslims, a child should be taught not to fear all these elements of supernatural but only in God should they place fear. Love should be instilled instead of fear.

Step 4: Reward what you should and re-educate if needed.
If they did things right, reward them. There seems to be a system of lack of rewards..just punishment. One expects their child to do all that is right but there is no form of rewards available. No hugs? No kiss? But if u did it wrong..its smacks and silent treatment. Children are smart in reading parents' expression...thats what i learnt from this show at suria.

Step 5: Reward yourself if it works!
And if all turns out well...reward yourself. Actually you'd have already did! No more smelly wet beds or mattresses! YEAY!!! But never forget to reward yourself...you tend to forget yourself sometimes..

So those are the steps i believe can help. If it cant...u got to try others ok! Plus...i spent $10 in the process...hope that money last a lifetime.. Ahaha...

And Brasil won 2-0. It wasnt really a good match. Much like their match against croatia. Lat-the-Kaka played well, so did Faizolinho..but the aussies really clamped on us hard. Kamildo was still slow...so was Noraiano...but she scored. Haiz...Fazlida saved a beautiful acrobatic shot in the 2nd half and the rest was histroy. Naufalinho played a great match as a sub...he contributed to the 2nd gol. After he came on for Kamildo..it sparked a flurry of attacks. Kamildo needs to buck up and stop swooning over opposing players. FOCUS on the match!!

Dats all for now. I need to pack my stuffs. Called up for reservist already. Cant find many stuffs. Spiders already nesting in my webbing and no camou netting for my helmet..if i get a new one..wun have that laojiao look. Darn...jus when im abt to enjoy the hols. Haiz....but its fun jus tinking abt going back!

May Allah guide us all..bless us with happiness and health n protect us from the dangers of this world, physically or mentally. Help us become successful people in the world and after...

Another busy peak period over..

Port Dickson followed by Perkampungan bahasa back-to-back..that was a day away from home since the wee morning of saturday till midnite wednesday. The car is going to hit 2000km soon...within 2weeks...we have droven like crazy i presume with Kak teepah's wedding and all...my sis got to drive the car at 140kmh..so much for letting new cars run in huh...but cars should be factory run-in ryt?? We shall assume that it is then...

Ok...so much for what has happened so far. Its now 5 more days to my driving test. I have booked lessons on sat and mon. Hopefully my instructor can empty up a slot on tues or mon morning la...with this three lessons, i will at last chalk up 9 lessons in total throughout my 6mths learning. That would have cost me..urmm...$350 in total to learn driving, but IF i fail..then i would be the cause of my own failure. Haiz...so much for economizing huh? We'll see..i got to focus real hard then..the irony of remembering what you should do and at the same time not to have thoughts in your head when you are in full focus is funny.

Somehow...there are many points you should remember when executing something to perfection. Yet, you should not think too much when you execute it. Just..BLINK! For now..this applies to my jurus tunggal baku and also to my driving. My sole motivation lies in my perfectionist nature..that i would only clear things one-shot...as perfect as i can get. Its scarily fun when i get into that mindset. When everything is shut out from the mind and your vision tunnels in to your task at hand. When your confidence boils so hard that it almost feels like you're getting complacent...so confident that you will get what you want.

BUT...

Its not easy for me to get into this mindset. There are not many moments i recall getting into this trance. Yet..i want to invoke it..NOW..cause it is one of the most perfect time to do so.. with competition coming up and also the TP test..there is no better time than now. (I just know and feel that strawberry milk is good to calm that raging spirit when it comes..I dunno why..dun ask me!! Guess its psychological..Hahaha..)

I also found out that for IVPs, my event will have to go through preliminaries as there are 7 or more people competing. The top 4 will then have to compete in a separate finals. Haiz...I still cant duduk bersila!!!! (Sit cross legged..) FYI...i cannot sit cross legged properly. I will not last for 2-3mins..hence, i prefer to stand. What more a silat cross legged...i cant even do it!!! AAAAAARGHHH!!!....thats the only thing stopping me now..hahahaha...what a thing. For Nura..she's still working on her hand-stand horse-kick...we're trading skills in these two departments. But i think for those that thinks seni is easy..try it...doing it is ok..but doing it and keeping with the timing saps more energy than a sparring match. I personally dun pant in a spar but in seni..i cant stand straight after doing a sequence 5 times in a row. HAHAHA...but i tink i can still elak a meja!

Silat camp is somewhat settled except for sunday's meals. Anybody's mom willing to cook? We'll reimburse and pay a bit extra...can?

And i hit my head against a screw jutting out in the backseat of the mendaki van. Rabakk....now i have a baluku..bloody van. PB? Nothing to say..lack of sleep and food. Lost 1/2kg..same with Lat. But it was fun watching soccer live at McDonalds..hahaha...the Mac's wa packed..people cheered and reacted with excitement...and people were sleeping too when their teams played. (Rabakk Lat..luckily we won. So i guess we have to fly off and join our team for the match against Japan soon?)

Ok ok.....know what? Im a phlegmatic introvert.

May Allah guide us all..bless us with happiness and health n protect us from the dangers of this world, physically or mentally. Help us become successful people in the world and after...

Its the 8th of june today...13 days to my TP test date. Gotto call Safety Driving Ctr to book my long impending lessons..Hahaha...cos Ina Kona's book of answers opened to a page that wrote.."Absolutely Not!". This book, interesting enough if you allow yourself to be dumb and naive is a book full of different type of answers. (Its damn thick by the way!) You just think of a question in your head, allow your fingers to run through the side of the pages and open the book whenever you think is ryt...then see the answer. I asked..."Can i pass my driving test?" and...yeah..."ABSOLUTELY NOT!!" Hahahaha....

So right now...there are three ways i can react to this.

1) Surrender to the answer the book set for me...
2) Start to cheong for the test and try to change the impending 'fate'...
3) "What the Hell" Its just a book....its fake!! All these American propaganda...haiz...

Hahaha...i choose reaction 2. Im gonna cheong!! Its hard to already have the family car and yet you fail your driving test! Shit...no way am i allowing that to happen! As long as i dun land on my head..im gonna push all the way...So if you obeserve on the left...the part on family car is to be struck off but i dunno how to do the strike-through thingy so...'rotfl'..(What does this mean NurKamilawati?)

I woke up at 1 today...slept at 4am..so that amounts to 9 hours of sleep. Silat back-to-back really causes your body to nearly go through a shutdown...my legs are feeling the lactic build-up. Doing the moves continuously is really a good exercis for the legs..i think my leg muscles are getting more toned and especially the calves..woah...solid la...Hahahaha...but silat is really not a good exercise for slimming down. That one..canoe polo do best. And since today is the 8th of June...it means that i have exactly one more month before the competition to be held at NYP on the 8th of July. I still have a lot to polish up upon especially in 'softening up' my body...guess i stiffen up through the years. Sampai jadik kejong!!

Silat too is getting more and more intersting as the days go by. Everybody has their own events to prep for and the preparation is getting more and more intensed. Guess it is this time that we get to bond even more and help each other in whatever aspect we can regardless of rank or seniority. I think the best example is the bunch of year 1s regu boys teaching their 'teachers', year 3s and soon to be grads how to execute moves that had been eluding them eversince they learnt it a year ago. Even though they were the champions last year..they did not sit proudly on their laurels and sought help from the own students how to execute the scissors.

Me? I had the best form of help. My teacher, especially for yesterday is this boy. He's only in lower primary school level but since he had been learning more than me and his moves were awe-inspiring. I was seeking tips from him and his coach. I was observing him during his training at Jurong Green CC..this cute little boy executing the Jurus Tunggal Baku under the tutelage of his coach, noting down pointers from the advises his coach offered him.

Lesson here, lessons can be derived from anywhere, only if you want it. "If the student is ready, a teacher will come." And Abang Jas is really fierce sak!! Luckily he's friendly to us..if he was that fierce at sch..tink we would not enjoy training.

Silat camp planning and prep i tink is how planning should be like when you have time on your hands..All the forms completed, waiting for confirmation from accomodations at Raffles. Food somewhat AOK, jus sunday only. Maybe can try ask mak2 or kakak2 saper yg sudi memasak for sunday la..programme, waiting for coaches' input and safety planning covered. Baaaiikk arh Lat and Horis..OPS BATAM cum Silat HELLth camp...Hope for all to peak during this camp and ultimately set a high level of belief and morale after the camp. As long as no one lands on their heads la...

Lastly from me..Erase all doubts in your head. No mind..you will not cockup at stupid moments but when you lose focus and doubt yourself during the stupid moments. With confidence..insyaallah you will go on and be able to pull it off. **As long as you dun land on your head.. What happens if you land on your head?? You know..

May Allah guide us all..bless us with happiness and health n protect us from the dangers of this world, physically or mentally. Help us become successful people in the world and after...